A watershed moment…
© shāna, Beatrice, 2009
…yes, indeed, receiving that camera changed everything. It flipped a switch from unbearable loss to a sense of purpose.
Have a listen to my interview on the Blog Talk Radio show, Snap Out of It! Fascinating Women who Defy Death, Disease and Depression with DeDe Murcer Moffett.
So, what pulls you out of your darkness??
“If you can’t fly, then run
If you can’t run, then walk.
If you can’t walk, then crawl.
But whatever you do keep moving.”
MLK Jr.
My 1st TV interview!
Back in November I was approached by the oh so witty, supportive & straight shooting Elizabeth Cassidy of Coaching for the Creative Soul about being a featured artist on mylitv.com. She thought my “story” (my italics) would be interesting and inspiring for people to hear & see. “Wow, yes, sure, thank you” stumbled off my tongue yet my insides were screaming no effing way! S c a r y stuff! Conflicted for sure but I knew this was a great opportunity to share my work – after all, this is the kind of thing us artists seek!
I have to admit it wasn’t easy. I was left feeling exposed, vulnerable & swirling with humiliation. BECAUSE…
I’d come face to face with this profound paradox: I really want to be heard YET I’m so afraid of using my voice. Exhale. More about that in a future post. For now I’d rather focus on how appreciative I feel that this whole thing came about. Thank you Elizabeth, Natalie, Waldo & Joe. For better or worse, I’m proud that I pushed through.
Would love to hear from you. I’d also love if you wanted to subscribe to this journal.
cheers from
Love is a salve…(updated 2.17.11)
© shāna, Aunt Violet #5, 2007
When Jasmine first invited me to participate in the LoveSparks Blogging Festival I was simultaneously intrigued & conflicted. See, the concept of love creates an avalanche of emotion. From sweetness to sadness to rage to joy and everything in between. Love that breaks your heart, soothes your heart & the love that breaks your heart wide open. When considering the latter I immediately feel the presence of my Aunt Violet, otherwise known simply as “Aunt Violet.” She taught me showed me what love, loving & lover truly is. Simply put, she would see with her heart and accept with all her being – whether tending to her husband, her daughter, her art, her garden, her self, her students, her family, her beliefs. So when saddled with self-doubt or loathing & questions of my own significance arise, I try to lean in & borrow from the spirit of this precious soul.
Here is an excerpt from a letter she sent me dated June 12, 1997:
“That birthday card stunned me with its pure beauty of how the human heart is unlimited in its love and understanding and tremendous insight into life’s highest hopes. Ultimately it reached out into the mysteries of the universal from where all harmony and rhythm and sensitivity arises giving birth to someone like you, and hopefully a few others…That birthday card is truly your portrait and as such is the treasure that now glows through my life.”
She exemplified mature love in it’s purest form. I have created a body of work in her honor that you can view here. I am eternally grateful for my Aunt Violet.
Much love & many thanks to Jasmine Lamb for inspiring me to share the love!
Move Over Mr. Postman!
© shāna, Running in Snow, 2010
It was December 25th, 2010. A most unusual ordinary day. I ‘celebrated’ by spending the day with my family at the home of my brother & his girlfriend. It’s not my holiday, per se, however when all norms of society come to a halt then heck, it sort of becomes everyone’s holiday. Anyway, this was no typical holiday season. I found myself thrust into another health crisis starting back around the end of October. Not my first rodeo with this health stuff as you know. But this was new & a most unwelcome diversion. I spent most of my time with doctors, labs & technicians. I was barely able to eat. Just in case, I carted around small containers of brown rice & yogurt to holiday events. By Christmas day I was so weak that I wasn’t even able to drive. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I’m pretty stubborn about that. It’s my independence, a symbol of wellness.
What made this day especially daunting was that the very next day I was booked for a family portraiture session. Which, by the way, I hadn’t officially done before. And…a blizzard was coming, though all predictions indicated it would start in the late afternoon. And…one of their sons’ was in from out of state and planning to fly out the next day. So I crawled into bed knowing that no matter what I had to show up – literally & figuratively. This family after all extended their vote of confidence by booking me. So, I prayed for strength, I prayed for inspiration, I prayed for creativity, I prayed for presence and lastly I prayed for the snow to wait until the shoot was over! Almost, all my prayers were answered.
I awoke the next morning to find snow already on the ground and coming down quite steadily. So much for weather predictions. As I nervously drove to their home I was dumbstruck and began laughing. Laughing so hard at the ridiculousness of all these things converging simultaneously. I could’ve cried but laughter is what rose up. I am delighted to say that the shoot went swimmingly well. This is one special, lovely family. We collaborated, laughed, talked, played, danced & even did some shooting out in the snow. Grace was flowing for sure.
The photo below was taken by Mike (Dad & Husband) of me shooting part of the clan. I was hysterical because I couldn’t see as my glasses were fogged over from the snow. Above is an image from the shoot. Maybe more to follow, we’ll see. I hope you like?!
[UPDATE: Come on over to Give me More to view more images from this shoot.]
Why do people ask why?
© shāna, Natalie, 2009
People often ask me why I shoot film? Why not digital? Depending on my mood I find the question to be somewhere ranging from puzzling to irritating. This is so for a couple of reasons. Firstly, the tone of the question is often accusatory and I must admit, it often leaves me bewildered? Secondly, the question is too often the starting point of the conversation rather than asking and/or commenting about the work itself. Isn’t that what’s really important? Why do the mechanics matter so much?
Truth be told, it was not a choice of one over the other. I simply used (and still do!) whatever was available to me when I started shooting back in ’03. And what was available was my friends’ 35 mm manual SLR camera. The work was produced with very limited resources: financial, health, energy, equipment, supplies & know-how. These rigid constraints often felt claustrophobic, yet, paradoxically, the work flowed as did opportunities to exhibit. I do not believe the equipment matters in the end; it is merely a tool. Genuine questions about my work are always welcomed – yes, both the why & the how.
My Birthday Giveaway!! (updated 10.10.10)
© shāna, Bubble Gum, 2003
why a giveaway…
Remember that feeling you used to get on your birthday when you were a kid? The wonder, the excitement? Something just felt different inside. Well, I really miss that feeling. Haven’t had that in a long time. So I got to thinking, how can I best evoke that sparkle? Well, I love to share & I really appreciate when someone is touched by my work so I thought why not give it away?
what i’ll giveaway…
I will give one lucky person a signed 8 X 10 fine art silver gelatin print from the series, On the Periphery Life Going By. I am currently narrowing down which print I will share.
how to participate…
1) In the comment section below, please tell me what was your worst photography experience with either a professional or amateur photographer & why? You, as the subject. No names necessary.
2) Then, after you comment simply subscribe right here to complete the entry process. *
(*by entering the giveaway you will occasionally receive e-mail updates that hopefully you will look forward to. you are free to unsubscribe at any time & your e-mail will always remain private)
and the winner is…
The winner will be chosen by me and announced on Twitter on 10.10.10. Love that date!
a final note…
I highly recommend that you not wait but submit now while you are here. Because if you are anything like me (hopefully not) and you do not do it now you will probably forget! I really look forward to hearing your stories and meeting you.
{AND THE WINNER IS @JohnJOswald!}
with kind regards from
Have Patience & Keep The Faith
© shāna, “Insanity is Contagious“, 2007
I’ve had this self-imposed deadline as to when all my on-line development will be ‘finished’. The shiny new wordpress blog; portfolio & projects galleries complete on my site; plan for offering commissioned sessions fleshed out, just to name a few. Well, turns out, this is not going to happen – at least not all right now. Flowing along then crashing or flowing and then sidetracked by some challenge seems to be my rhythm. Crazy making, I admit.
But, you know what? There is no such thing as finished. I get it. It’s like a live organism, always morphing, growing and changing. So for the immediate future this is where my blog will remain. Very no frills, I know, but a blog nonetheless. A place to share, connect and discover. Everything else in my life occurs at a slower pace so why should this be any different? I would however, prefer what I consider the foundational elements to be in place sooner than later. I know, I just can’t help it.
“When you have a gift to offer, the world will make room for you. You must have patience and keep the faith.” Tyler Perry, Playwright.