Why Do I Feel Guilty?
© shāna, Oops, 2003
A vital aspect of being an artist living with physical challenges is pacing. I need to pace myself really well with all I do. Creating, resting, working, resting, eating, resting, socializing, resting. Of course, I have been trying to juggle this for years now. The consequences of not honoring what my body needs are too great. Trust me I have crossed that line too many times and suffered much as a result. It’s just how life ‘round here is. We all have our tasks to reconcile with in this life. So, if this is the case & I know this, why do I feel guilty? Why do I feel the need to justify the how’s & why’s of what I can and cannot do? Who the heck am I doing this for anyway?
Michael Nobbs, on his blog, Sustainably Creative states, “I’ve learnt that little and often gets things accomplished. Even little and infrequently can build up a body of work.”
He talks about being kind to ourselves if we’re low on energy but still want to get stuff done. Ah, deep breath. Accepting and rather matter of fact. I think the guilt may be some inner tyrant whose goal is to keep me bound. I long to be unburdened. Unapologetic. I’ll continue to shoot my way through this.
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